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Found: One ANNOYING e-mail.*

Really? Does this seem like an appropriate advertisement to send to their ENTIRE mailing list? With my limited knowledge of their customer base, I’m gonna guess that a large number of the women who purchase their clothes ARE NOT small. Which is why they have a need to clear out their size small inventory. Dani** reminded me that the first rule of Marketing (not writing)  is to know your audience. I’d say they don’t. Bad Marketing. Do they for some reason think I’m a size small? Should I use this as motivation? I’m working really hard and making progress, but I doubt that I will ever be a size small again. AND, I’m totally fine with that. Medium will suit me just fine. Even if I won’t be able to participate in their “highly anticipated” Small Sizes Only Clearance Sale. Would you be annoyed by this?  OK. Rant over.

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Will you join me on this journey? I don’t wanna be a yo-yo ANYMORE. I’m DONE.

Day: 7
Weight Gained/Lost: -10***
Miles Run: –

*e-mail is from Newport News who I don’t even shop with. I got stuck on their mailing list after I purchased a Christmas present for my Auntie.
**Dani is a beautifully beachy country gal and I would put money on her being a size small. This should be proof enough that I am neither bitter or resentful of slim women. So neh.
***This kind of weight loss won’t be the norm. Yes, I eat. This is anticipated in the first week. Thank you in advance for not lecturing me.

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Nothing tastes as good as THIN feels… were the words I was forced to stare at as I passed time waiting for the nurse practitioner to enter the room.

This wasn’t your average weight loss center. I wasn’t in Kansas anymore.

But, I was back to square one.
Looking  in the face of the 40lbs I wanted to lose… again.

It felt sucky.

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I’ve spent the bulk of my twenties struggling with “weight”.

Yo-yoing. Up and down. Up and Down.

I would like to believe that I’m not a whiner.
Especially when it comes to my weight.

I know why I weigh what I weigh
I know how to lose weight
I take full responsibility

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Will you join me on this journey? I don’t wanna be a yo-yo ANYMORE. I’m DONE.

Day: 1
Weight Gained/Lost: –
Miles Run: –

A peak into our recently viewed Netflix queue/with short reviews:

The Box – *** out of ***** – Wow. Weird. We just watched this last night and I don’t think I ever really understood what was going on. In fact, at one point I looked over at Rob and asked him if he understood what was going on. He didn’t. Surprisingly, I would still recommend this movie. I believe it’s one of those flicks where everyone will take away something a little different. Also, it’s an interesting commentary on the world we live in today. Push the button and you will receive 1 million dollars. Push the button and a stranger somewhere in the world will die. I did find myself wondering what I would do if presented with such an offer.
Crazy Heart – ****1/2 out of ***** – Beautiful movie. Heartbreaking. Jeff Bridges is… hmm. Jeff Bridges IS Bad Blake. Maggie Gylenhall is smart and strong and raw.. as always. I cried. I gasped. I was disgusted. I smiled. I sang along. I laughed. Just watch it, and be sure to let me know what you thought of it too.
 Up in the Air – **** out of ***** – Boo. I really liked it. But, Boo. Because it’s really just real life. You and I know that a lot of real life is hard and sad. A lot of real life is being forced to choose between you and them. This isn’t a movie you should watch if you are hoping to escape reality. This is the movie you watch when you need a good dose of it.
Law Abiding Citizen – *** out of ***** – Decent. Lots and lots of people dying.
The Time Traveler’s Wife – **** out of ***** – Somewhere between liked and loved it. Can I admit I didn’t exactly finish reading the book? But, watching the movie made me want to! Rob watched it and it didn’t make him want to poke his eyes out. So, I’d say if you are in the mood for a chickie flickie but plan on inviting a boy, this is a good option. It’s a crier though. Have the kleenex within reach.
Ninja Assassin – 0 out of ***** – Meh. I actually had high hopes for this flick, but I didn’t even make it through the first five minutes. Cheez. Blood. Blood. Hi ya! No review.
Everybody’s Fine – **** out of ***** – I have to admit I am NOT a sucker for cheesy.. holiday.. family movies. I went into this little movie thinking it was going to be light hearted and funny. Wrong. If I had to compare to something else, I would choose The Family Stone. They pull you in with a vague but funny preview and you are left reaching for the Kleenex. A great little movie that really delivers and (warning) will make you cry.
 The Men Who Stare at Goats – ** out of ***** – Did I miss something? Was it too smart for me? Maybe I just didn’t get it. I didn’t really like it. Good for a few laughs, but I was disappointed.

A couple more that I HIGHLY recommend.. but didn’t feel like writing reviews for: A Walk on the Moon, Green Street Hooligans, Paper Heart, Away We Go, Appaloosa & Blindness

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Might I introduce you to Meg and the rest of Team Practical? She also writes over at Reclaiming Wife. The women that contribute their thoughts to both of these sites are amazing… every one of them unique and beautiful. Wherever you are in life, both of these blogs have something for you.

Did you know? You can wrestle with bitterness and still be happy.

Did you know? You can wrestle with depression, anxiety and even compulsive behaviors (that drive your-own-self CRAZY) and still be happy.

YOU CAN. I promise. And, I am living. breathing. proof of that.

I have dealt with all of the above for a good chunk of my life.

There have been times when the valley was deeep. I didn’t even feel like lifting my view towards the peak.

I am STILL HERE world.

Am I still stressed. a little depressed. a little bitter? Yes. BUT..*

*Just BUT..**

**I am BUT a work in progress.

Bitter Betty?

Bitterness is like a cancer. It eats upon the host.
But anger is like fire. It burns it all clean. – Maya Angelou

Have you ever been bitter? No, not just kind of bitter, like the time OPI discontinued your absolute favorite shade of nail lacquer. I’m talkin’ biT-Ter. Bitterness that erupts into a stiff neck, puffy eyes and overwhelming exhaustion. Have you? Lately, I have been crippled with this exact type of bitterness. Sometimes, when I look in the mirror I don’t even recognize myself.

I have let one person ruin entire days.

How did I get here?

——————–

Why can’t we just each act as if the other doesn’t exist?

That is totally fine by me.

——————–

I am better today than I was yesterday.
I hope to stomp the bitterness a little more tomorrow.

——————–

For now, I try to lather, rinse and repeat:

I can’t control other people’s shameful actions.
I can’t control what other people say or think of me.
I can’t control other people.
I can only control myself.
I can only control my actions.

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BUT: FOR NOW: People who steal my joy are NOT allowed in my life.

 

And while this may not be the healthiest solution.
This is me today. A work in progress.

VagueBLOG

I know. I know. I am a horrible blogger.

Believe ME. I have A LOT of words. But – can’t bring myself to type them.

I don’t know my audience.

That kinda scares me.

You know?

Isn’t that the first rule of writing? Know. Your. Audience.

——————–

I don’t only want to always deliver fluff.

I was uncensored. I am uncensored. I long to be uncensored.

I. I. I.

——————–

I’m sorta in a valley right now.

No REAL issues. Lots of issues. At the same time.

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Just keep swimming.

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If you have yet to read The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls..
Will you? It’s beautiful.

HAPS

So.. RWH and I watched New Moon last night. Can I say I don’t really understand the craze? There is one scene where Alice has a vision of Bella (as vampire) and Edward running through the woods. I LAUGHED OUT LOUD. SO CHEESERIFIC! I felt like a girl failure. Everyone is so swept up in the story. I can’t seem to get into it. Maybe due to the fact that it’s teen fiction? The only thing I will say is; I am SO NOT on “Team Edward”.. he is too skinny and un-dead. I’m sure I will end up watching Eclipse. They have already sucked me in for two movies.

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Our (by default) Governor Jan Brewer signed the infamous sb 1070 bill on Friday. She is a waste of space. The woman can’t even lead our government to a balanced budget (current deficit is 3.2 BILLION $$). I think someone needs to check their priorities. AND! People are already calling for boycots + ONE very large conference has already pulled out of Phoenix. Lost tourism dollars! Just what we needed! I don’t normally talk politics on this blog. I am still having some trouble putting words to paper on this one.. But, I will warn you now that there will be a blog coming soon.

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I love my husband! I love my husband! I love my husband! I love my husband!I love my husband! I love my husband! I love my husband! I love my husband! I love my husband!I love my husband! I love my husband! I love my husband!

Did you know that there are A LOT of cynical people in this world? They have been burned. They are lonely. They don’t know what they want. SO, they convert all of that negativity into not so nice behavior. I have been the target of said behavior a couple of times recently.. and so I went looking for a quote. Something to keep me focused.

Here is what I found:

“Do you want me to tell you something really subversive? Love is EVERYTHING it’s cracked up to be. That’s why people are so cynical about it.. It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. And the trouble is if you don’t risk anything, you risk even more. -Erica Jong

I posted it in my little cubicle.

Love is awesome. When you don’t have it.. sometimes that sucks.

BUT: we all wait. we all watch. we all get hurt. we all deserve better. we all hope. we all love.

Be patient. And while you are waiting.. take some time to get your priorities straight. That way when it’s dancing around in front of your face.. you will be able to recognize it.

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GO! RIGHT! NOW! And tell someone you love them!

POST EDIT: Is that annoying? Do I seem like a love know it all now? Because I’m not.. Really. I was actually a BIG LOVE IDIOT for a long time. But, then this boy came along and he changed everything for me. Really. Again. I don’t take any of the credit.